Monday, June 29, 2009

Lehi Round Up Days

The kids and I always have a fun time at Lehi Round Up Days. A highlight is always the fifty cent face painting. The girls get to earn quarters to spend at the fair. It's a lot of fun. (and I love mobile uploads!)

Sunday, June 28, 2009

here we go, this is more like it

Mobile uploads

I am trying to get photos to load to this page from my phone. There was supposed to be a photo attached to the "hot date" comment. I wish I could get this to work. It would be so great! I'll keep working on it. It shouldn't be hard, it just isn't working right. Hopefully sooon!

Hot date with Mike. We went to the arts festival. There were some really great bands. Neil Diamond cover band, some guy playing a huge pipe, jazz, drummers and a Brazilian dance(?) group, and my favorite was a band called Traveler. A mix between Celtic, Rock, and mid-Eastern belly dancing. They were great performers, it was a party!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


There is something about the emotion of safety. It is beyond a state of being, more than an adjective, it is a necessary fundamental of life. So many of us, at some point in our lives experience life without the fundamental element of safety. When I had someone close to me pass away, I felt unsafe. A broken heart can make you feel unsafe. Living conditions, emotional trauma, and our fears can make us feel unsafe. When Mike was in Iraq I felt unsafe. I was tied to him emotionally as much as I could be from thousands of miles away, sometimes when we were on the phone together the alarms would start blaring and he would have to go take cover. Many times, I wouldn't hear from him for days after that. Loved ones left behind in wartime know that no news is good news. In any case, I felt unsafe during those many many months. Most people don't throw themselves into an unsafe environment just for fun, usually people find themselves there not knowing how they got there, and not having the means to fix it. So many people have taken refuge from tyranny in this country, and this state. They have come here to protect their children and themselves from further persecution. Today, I have felt a huge amount of gratitude for safety. It is something I overlook on a day to day basis, and that is because I have been able to live and grow in a place where safety is abundant. I am grateful for safety.

(side note, I know we need to protect ourselves and our children from predatory people and things)

Mike Mills

If you knew us when we went to SUU, chances are you also knew a guy named Josh Jones. He had this way of saying peoples names who only had 2 syllables. Like a mom would say "it's dinner time" with a little up and down intonation, and some < > crescendo and decrescendo in there. He was always saying Mike Mills- he made it sound like there are 3 syllables instead of two. In any case, this entry isn't about Josh Jones (with 3 syllables), it is about Mike Mills (with 3 syllables).

Mike has always had a passion about him that is attractive. He is creative, I wish I had a picture of the project he made for an art class he took- he turned some chunks of wood into a vase with hardware flowers. It was really creative and I was impressed. I don't remember what he called it, but it was a clever name. Mike can make you feel important, and one of a kind. He is a very good story teller, with voice impressions and actions to go with it, he can make a melodramatic situation in to a comedic hilarity. Mike has really strong arms, I have never seem him loose in an arm wrestle. Mike is a good dad, he is always happy to engage in a game with his kids. These are a few things I love about Mike.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Bridesmaid dresses

We have to get dresses. Blah! Trying to fit all our different body types, styles, sizes, and color tone is annoying. It will be fun once it is finished. I thought these were some great bridesmaid dress choices. What do you think? Classic or just plain strange?

Monday, June 22, 2009


Today the sun is out and the sky is blue. Little white fluffy clouds are scattered about, and the mountains are purple and green. What a beautiful day.

Since the weather has been so rainy, most of my plants are in shock. I think it's funny that they have gotten too much water. All my plants are intended for a dry climate and some of them have turned a little brown. Not dried up brown, but too moist brown. This week they should perk up a bit with the warmer, dryer weather.

I have been talking to Mike about going to visit my Auntie Cathi in Washington state. While there, I want to take my kids to the Hoh rain forest. I went there when I was a teenager, it was pretty amazing. I have been in 2 different rain forests. One in South America and one in North America. They are so different from each other. In South America there were bugs and bugs and more bugs. Bugs that would eat the skin on your legs before you even knew they were there. Sticky bugs that would fly into your hair, then you would have to cut them out before they built a bug nest in your braids. Bugs that glowed, slimy ones, bright ones. Florescent toads (or maybe they were frogs), mosquitoes,etc. If I had been looking at that rain forest on film it would have been much more enjoyable. The Hoh rain forest was so different. Tons of vegetation in every nook and cranny imaginable, but there weren't any disgusting, slimy, hot, humid, gamy, bugs that drove you to your wits end. Needless to say, I am absolutely fine never visiting a hot, humid rain forest again. I hope they will always be there, but I never want to be in one again. The cooler rain forest would be great though! Hopefully we will make it up there this summer. I know it would be a great vacation for the kids, and I know I would love it too.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

My Dad

To anyone he meets
With anyone who needs more time
When challenges try to take us
To the good and the bad
With his hope, faith, and charity

My Dad
I love Him!

Saturday, June 20, 2009


I went to a movie last night with some girl friends. I am not usually a fan of chick flicks because they usually make me get teary, and getting teary is not something I like. It makes me feel like I don't have control over myself, which is something else I don't like. (On a side note, it turns out Mike likes when I loose my reservedness, it makes him feel like I am a real person. Does he think I am a fake person? LOL, who knows). I suggested we go see Terminator, or Star Trek, or Pelham 123 (which turns out to be R rated, so that one was off the table for me). We went to see The Proposal. I laughed a lot. I was surprised at how much I laughed. The story isn't really surprising, but the lame stuff that happens within the story is surprising. And, to have a body like Sandra Bullock- well, that would be really great- here's to wishing, right? Betty White is so unappropriated and right on, it is hilarious. Well, it turns out, I just needed a great laugh. Good times. And, another plus, I bought myself a cute little zebra print clutch. Love it.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Something New

I have never been in my house alone before. This is something new. I am not sure what to do with myself. I have been given strict instructions to not stress out over getting the closets cleaned out, the garage organized, teach lessons, etc. I am supposed to sleep and do what ever I want. What do I want to do? Maybe I will go lay by the pool- how do you do that without kids? I am sure I can figure it out, it has just been a long time. I am excited for this new thing- a little freaked out about how to tackle it though, hahaha, that sounds really lame! This weekend will be strange and fun.

Thursday, June 18, 2009


When working on something for a long time, it is an amazing feeling when you finally have a breakthrough. Even though I am tired and I still feel lost, the breakthrough is great!

I need to have a breakthrough with Samantha. Her stubbornness is tireless and she wears me out. Remember the Olivia books? Samantha is my Olivia. She is stubborn, creative, messy, loving, emotional, sweet . . . I haven't yet figured out how to communicate effectively with her. I realized yesterday that she and Mike are so much alike. What does this say about my communication with Mike? It isn't the greatest, but it is getting better. I think he would agree with me. I have always said Emily and Mike are alike, but this is not true. Emily and Mike have such a good time together, they like to play Wii together, and go to movies together, I think they really enjoy each others company. But as far as personalities go, Samantha and Mike are more alike than I realized. The look in their eyes has this sad, yet beautiful quality- it is deep and full of emotion. Hmmm, puzzling. This will definitely be a topic that I will roll around in my mind for a while.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


My sister Catey is engaged. She and Jeremy are so smitten by each other. I remember all those feelings. I recently read some old journal entries. My memory was flooded with all those emotions of wanting to be with the person you love more than you want to do anything else- the day can't come soon enough- the heart stopping moments you feel when it is time to say goodbye for the day, oh! how you will miss them as they drive away (even though you know you will see them tomorrow)- the sparkle in your eyes- the quickness in your step when you know they are the person on the other end of the ringing phone- the peace and comfort you feel knowing you are in the arms of someone who loves you just as much as you love them- the bright anticipation of the future- I am happy for Cate. I am happy she gets to feel that kind of love, and Jeremy too. I hope they will have the happiest life together, and will always love and respect each other more and more as they grow old together. Congrats Cate. I love you.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Today is Nate's birthday! Happy birthday Nate. Nate has always been a good brother. Annoying and teased too much sometimes, but a good brother. I have always been able to count on him to help out when it really counted. He and my brother Sam taught me how to ride a bike when I was 3 without training wheels. They were so nice! Give one up for brothers!! Happy Birthday Nate!

Monday, June 15, 2009

New day New week

Here's to a fresh start this week. Last week was full of so many unsuspected surprises (not so good one's) and trials. This week will to be better. We are off to a good start. So far, nothing surprising. True, it is still the wee hours of the morning, but you just never know.

Last night I had some unexpected visitors. I was so happy to see them. I feel like I haven't talked with them for months. I am glad they came over. It's amazing how good friends can feel your spirit even when you feel like you have been out of touch with them for a while. Yea! for good friends!

I just finished the book A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith. I had skimmed through it several years ago and liked it well enough, but this time I really read it. I love the strength of the women in this book. They are true to themselves and what they believe in. Grandma Mary Romley says in the book to live in each moment like it is your first and your last. Even though I hear that often enough, it struck me more vividly this time. To me that doesn't mean you can go around eating, playing, and being merry. It means to hold true to your standards, relish in the happiness, learn from the sadness, get as much knowledge as you can, don't relive your mistakes, and have a pure love in your heart and mind for all things good. I am going to try really hard to be a better person this week. One day at a time.

Sunday, June 14, 2009


Like I was saying before, sleep is not overrated. So here I am at 6am on a Sunday morning with nothing to do but sleep, but I am not asleep.

Yesterday was a beautiful rainy day. Every time I looked out past the frame of my sunglasses I noticed the amazing colors that melded together in the sky. The colors created a picturesque frame for the vibrancy of the mountains. Everything feels so alive, fresh, and clean after a rain like that. I wish I had a time lapsed photo of the sky from yesterday. Truly amazing.

In the wonderful rain I worked on my parents house. My sister and I spent nine hours there yesterday. After many days of work already, it just doesn't seem like we have accomplished that much, but then I think of everything we have taken away already- this would be another great time lapse photo.

When stress runs high, sleep is low. I need more sleep when stress levels are high. I may have to start taking something to help with that. Hopefully the little people will sleep in.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

I hate HOA's

I live in an HOA neighborhood and I can say that I hate having to pay for the HOA dues and then get screwed anyway. I want all my money back, and I want to move out of the neighborhood.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Emily's Mom & Dad Date

It was Emily's turn to have both parents undivided attention today. She wanted to go Trafalga, so we did mini golf, batting cages, arcade games, etc. She is talented, helpful, smart, beautiful, and everything else good. Thanks Emily for being my girl!

Sleeping In

When was the last time I really got to sleep in. This morning- I slept until after 9am. Sleeping is not over-rated. I feel refreshed, bright and ready. This sleeping in thing should happen more often.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

6/11 journal

oh the night is long and lonely
when the light turns cold and the days warmth gives way
shadows of shapes not recognizable
seem to creep from under the door
into dreams.

tight grips sharply grasp a beating heart
breaking love and lust
left alone

the day dawns near
elongated shapes reappear
short shadows lost

warm light descends into windows
filters through layers
seeping deep into pained coatings
reaching for a spark to lift up and light

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

25 Things I am Grateful For

I am copying an idea from a friend, but this is a good thing to do from time to time.
1. Emily
2. Samantha
3. Andrew
4. Beautiful music
5. Summer rain
6. Mom and Dad
7. Brothers and Sisters
8. Life's lessons, hoping we don't have to learn the hard ones more than once.
9. Headache remedies
10. Aunties- I have 2. They have both loved me so much all my life.
11. The ability to forgive- I wish I was better at forgetting.
12. Being forgiven- I don't know if people forgive me for lame stuff I do and say, but I sure hope so.
13. Shelter from the storms
14. Comfort and safety
15. Education
16. Knowledge
17. Supportive friends
18. Happy memories
19. Modern photography to capture those happy memories
20. Nieces and Nephews- I love you guys so much
21. Good books
22. Nice text messages
23. Fragrant flowers- the Iris are in full bloom, I can smell them from the other side of the house.
24. Healthy bodies (and minds?)
25. Our Savior

Many things on this list might be different from one day to the other. It is hard to stop at 25.

Goodbye Facebook

I had to say goodbye to facebook because it is just too addicting, and everyone knew way too much about everyone's business. Since I am a prickly pear (according to Mike) I decided to just log off forever. Actually, I am having some withdrawal, but it is great to not know everyone's business all of the time. Can you imagine what the neighborhoods would be like if we actually got to know the people living on our street, or the next door down? I took some cookies to my across the street neighbor last week. We have been across the street neighbors for almost three years, I didn't even know his name until last Saturday. Pretty lame. What about those lame ". . . " statuses? Those sure get people going in one way or another. hahahaha! Well, until next time . . .

I just did a . . . HAHAHA (evil laugh)