Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Faded Memories

Not many of my memories include sad memories. Memories I have from childhood are filled with happy things. I know bad and sad things happened, fortunately, those feelings are forgotten over time. For instance, I broke my femur when I was just 4 years old. I remember what I was doing when it happened, who carried me home, having a cast, and crutches, begging to be carried everywhere, but I don't remember getting the x ray, the bone setting, the doctor, or anything having to do with the treatment and recovery of the bone. I was jumping on an in ground trampoline with my cousin who is close to my age, his older sister by 8 years, and my oldest brother by 8 years. When I was getting off the trampoline, I got bounced high and landed one foot on the ground and one foot under the ground in between the springs. My bone cracked. I don't remember the pain associated with the broken bone. I just remember my brother whisking me away to our home. He scooped me up in his big arms, carried me down the hill to our home, and passed me carefully off to my parents. I remember feeling so safe when he picked me up and carried me home, even though the pain must have been terrible. Another example is of mothers. Mothers continue to bare children even though our bodies never are the same afterward, the pain and burning that comes with childbirth is really quite alarming, and the effects mentally and emotionally during pregnancy are so terrible for me. All the effects of being pregnant and birthing, terrible as they may be, haven't kept women or me, from continuing to bare children. All this seems strange to me, but it gives me hope. Hope that we are able to either accept the physical and emotional pains of life, or we are blessed with the ability to forget how bad the pain hurts- emotionally or physically. I hope I will be able to remember just enough of the pain to not repeat past wrongs, and to strive to make the lives of those around me better.