4

A few weeks ago I decided I should write my own story. Since I only remember a few small things from my very young childhood, most of that part of my life will not be written about. I know that I was born on my due date Aug 25. I was 9 ½ lbs, and long. I was born in Germany at a military hospital. My dad was on training missions and hitched a ride on a helicopter to come home when the news was brought to him. My Grandma Free was visiting from Provo, UT. I can imagine that I was a perfect baby. My mom must have been a loving and grateful woman, because when I think of my early childhood, I remember the warmth of her love, and her smiling face.
My first real memory is of a birthday when I turned 4. I had the most wonderful birthday cake. It was shaped like a butterfly, double layered. My mom always put thought, artistry, and whimsy into our birthday cakes. She used colored pipe cleaners for the antennas. My dad had just purchased a video camera. He opted to get a Beta camera instead of the more popular VHS camera because Beta had better quality film. Since it was the more expensive option, Beta wasn’t loved by consumers and it was hard to find anything Beta soon after that. In any case, we have video in Beta capturing the birthday cake and me dancing on the front porch. I remember my mom having to coax me to keep moving, because “this was the kind of camera you could make movies with”. My parents doting on me with their new camera, the beautiful and thoughtful birthday cake, and my little sister Charlotte dancing with me has made this memory strong and detailed. Whenever I think of it, I feel loved.

Opening in the Sky

The sky was blue, white fluffy marshmallow clouds were scattered about and kept us shaded from the sun. Across the parking lot stood two men, well, dudes. I had been in Cedar City for less than a week. I didn't know anyone except 2 of my room mates. When one of them asked if I wanted to take a ride with her, (I didn't have my own car yet, so I was stranded unless I ran to where I was going, or begged for a ride), of course I jumped into the cab of her big, old, Chevy pick-up. Our destination was a parking lot? Yes, a parking lot. Their names were Gary and Mike. I had never seen Gary before, he was just the average college guy. I had never met Mike before, but when I looked at him he was beaming. I looked around me, "could this be happening," I thought. I looked back at him, he was still beaming. Everything was shaded by the puff ball clouds, except Mike. It was like he was radiating, as if the sun was shining down on just him. (Is that the cheesiest thing you have ever heard? This coming from a person who has gone to great lengths not to be seem like a silly girl, ha!) It was confusing. I remember thinking, "what and why is this happening". When Mike opened his mouth, this came out, "I haven't seen you for so long!". He proceeded to wrap his arms around me in a giant hug, then looked at my face. You can't imagine what was going through my head at this moment, so I will enlighten you. "Is this person really hugging me? Does he think he can just touch me without even knowing who I am and without my permission? He has really great milk chocolate eyes. Why am I not kicking him in the groin? Why does he seem so familiar to me? I have never seen this person before. What's his name again? His arms feel so good around me. He has got to let go. How dare he enter my personal space bubble! Why do I feel like I know him, and why did he say he hadn't seen me for so long? How can we both feel that way when I know we have never met?" All this took just a portion of a second to wind around in my thoughts.

This is how I met Mike :)

Journal

We are supposed to keep a journal. I am so bad at it!! This is my attempt.

Personal Memories

When I was 20, I took my dad on a date. I asked him to go with me to the Utah Symphony. It was a business date. I knew my dad wanted things for me that I felt I wasn't capable of. He wanted me to study music at a great music school. He wanted me to serve a mission. He wanted me to have everything a wonderful dad would want for his daughter. He could see past the end of his nose, knew what it was like to be smitten and in love. He knew it clouded people's visions of the future, and that I had put myself in a perfect environment to chose a path that could shape the rest of my adult life. He wanted to protect me from disappointment, heart break, and regret. He also knew that unless he let me chose my own path, I wouldn't be able to find happiness. My parents did everything they could to give me opportunities while not taking away my agency. On the date with my dad, I told him I wanted to get married. That I had considered going on a mission, but that I wasn't taking that road.

I can't imagine what was going through my dad's mind. He didn't tell me what, or when, or why I should or shouldn't do anything. I was so young, just 20 years old. I didn't want anything more than to be married to Mike. I was so totally smitten, wildly in love. I would have walked barefoot across hot coals for him.

The photo I included with this entry seems not to fit well, but this is what I wanted. I wanted to experience life with Mike. Live every moment holding his hand.

Emily

A couple of days ago I let Emily sleep in till late morning. When she still wasn't awake at 9:45 I went to wake her up.
mom "Emily, hunny, it's time to wake up", nothing, "Emily, you need to get up", nothing, "Em, wake up, it is late in the morning".
emily "Mom, why did you wake me up! I was having a kung fu dream!"

hahaha.

Here's another one:
em "will you buy me some skittles?"
mom "Sorry Em, I don't believe in candy"
em "TRAITOR!"

hahaha.

Can you believe it?

I am having a hard time believing Andrew has had another birthday. He is my sweetheart. I am so grateful I get to be his mom. We had a pirate birthday party for him. He definitely got spoiled. We all had a great time putting the party together, and we all helped. It was a little too windy part of the time, but the sun was out so it was nice enough. Our balloons blew away with the wind, but we had pirate bandannas, swords and eye patches, so who needs balloons? Happy birthday little guy. I love you tons!!

Kindergartner No More

My little 5 year old isn't in kindergarten anymore. I feel sad about it. I felt sad and happy on her first day of school, but today is different kind of sad. It is the end of a wonderful chapter. I love kindergartners. They are so great.