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Sunday, October 23, 2011

Thoughts about prayer, it's a gift.

My story with Mike started out in Cedar City. After some serious contemplation and thought, I had decided against going to Western Washington University. It was a late decision so I didn’t know what I would do for the next several months. I was graduated from high school, had just quit my summer job, and had decided against going to a school I had been looking forward to going to for a couple of years. A dear friend called to tell me she had a vacancy in the apartment she was staying in, and why don’t I come to SUU. I felt like I was crazy for just nodding my head and saying, ya ok, that sounds good; but it felt right to say, “yes, I’m coming to Cedar City”. My mom always prayed that her kids would be in the right place at the right time. Moving to Cedar City was the right thing for me to do.
I was able to get a scholarship for Harp Performance even though I was registering late for the semester. I was so grateful to receive the scholarship. After many thousands of hours of practice, many thousands of miles traveled to and from lessons, and many thousands of dollars spent, it was an answer to prayer to receive a scholarship. It was a confirmation from the Lord that all the time and energy spent was good and right.
Not long after moving to Cedar City my roommate and I were on our way to help her cousin move some things. We stopped in a parking lot where we met with her cousin. This is where I met Mike . . . in a parking lot. It wasn’t just any parking lot, it was a holy place! The clouds parted in the sky, rays of sunshine shone down upon him, and the angels started singing heralds from heaven. I sat there and stared. My thoughts were, “What? Are you kidding me? Is this really happening? I don’t believe in this!” I was mad! I was not ready to be in love. But, there was something about him that was so familiar. It was as if we were the best of friends, but hadn’t seen each other for a long, long time.
A few years went by. We both took our time getting through semesters of school. I traveled, had some fun jobs, he joined the National Guard, and then it happened, he asked me to marry him- with a ring. Being in Cedar City led me to my best friend and spouse. I am so grateful I was in the right place at the right time. My mother’s prayers were not unheard.
After Mike and I got married, we transferred to the University of Utah. As a Harp Performance major, at the end of each semester I was required to perform two pieces for a panel of music professors. One performance is how my grade was decided. There were five professors who would critique my performance, then tally up the score from each critique. That is how my grade was determined, and if I could remain in the major. It was nerve wracking! I had a toddler and a studio with 25 students, full time school schedule and a husband. It was so hard to find the time to spend in the practice room that my peers were spending. I practiced and I prepared as much as I could. At the end of a particularly difficult semester, I remember sitting in the parking lot next to the music building just before my performance evaluation. After as much preparation and practice as I could get in throughout the semester, I felt like it wasn’t enough. I was terrified I was going to let myself down, as well as my family, and not receive the grade I desired. In a song of fervent prayer I cried out to the Lord. I asked for His help. I needed for my hands and heart and mind to be blessed that I could have a performance that was worthy of the effort and hours I had spent preparing. I felt an incredible spiritual strength I felt as I played for those professors. The spirit that was in the concert hall when I finished playing was substantial and strong. The Lord had most sincerely heard my pleading, and answered my prayer.
Prayer can be offered earnestly, and prayer can be less intense; depending on our circumstances.
Getting out the door with children is not always simple, especially when you’re trying to get out the door for a vacation. You have to make sure everything is in order, the car is packed perfectly, the trash is taken out of the house, the pets have enough food and water, the doors are locked, the lights are off, and on and on. You have to make sure you have the right blankie, and the right toy. If the correct toy is not in the car when you pull away from the house it could cause some serious problems. This summer we had put our vacation off several times, for several different reasons. August was rolling along and we still hadn’t taken our trip. Finally, we were on our way out the door, the car was packed, Emily and Andrew had their seatbelts on, but Samantha was in the house crying. She would not move, she couldn’t find her stuffed animal squirrel. The squirrel’s name is Aurora. It was nowhere to be found. We had spent an hour looking through her room, the backyard, the playroom, backpacks, we felt like we had looked everywhere. Not having her toy seemed so trivial to me. I had lost my patience. She was to be in the car in ten seconds or she would not be going with us. I didn’t want to have to stick to a punishment that entailed leaving my child with someone else while I went on vacation with the rest of my kids. Samantha let out a very specific prayer and asked the Lord to help us find her squirrel in the next 10 seconds. I was immediately prompted to look in her school backpack. There it was, in the bottom of her backpack. Not only did we learn how effective prayer can be, our faith was also strengthened, and Samantha witnessed the power of prayer, which has been a comfort to her since. It isn’t always the life altering miracles that remind us how amazing the gift of prayers is, it is most often the small day to day things that strengthen our knowledge that the Lord loves us and wants us to be happy. Because he loves us and desires us to be happy, he has given us the gift of prayer. In Psalms is says “The Lord hath heard my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer”. The Lord definitely received Samantha’s prayer that day.
When Mike deployed the first time to Iraq his re enlistment date came up while he was gone. We knew this would happen and had decided that he wasn’t going to re-enlist. When it came right down to it, our prayers for confirmation on that decision were met with fogginess and confusion. When we prayed about re enlisting, it was a clear answer. We felt the Lord’s confirmation that the right thing to do was to re enlist. I really had to have faith that the Lord knew what was best for us. It was a very difficult decision, but we were comforted by the fact that our decision was backed by an answered prayer. We knew Mike would eventually deploy again. And here we are. We don’t know the reasons for the answer to that prayer, but have faith that the Lord is aware of us and those around us. To us is seems like the harder path, but have faith in the answer that was given.
Mike says, “Prayer gives me focus and strength to overcome negative feelings and thoughts. After a good heartfelt prayer my fear subsides and I know I will survive.” I am given comfort and peace knowing that like me, Mike can pray to the Lord and receive answers.
Andrew had surgery this summer. It was a planned procedure that has required a lot of follow up and recovery. When I had to watch Andrew be rolled in to the O.R. and walk down the long lonely hallway to the waiting room I thought I would pass out. My heart ached and hurt so badly. I couldn’t keep the tears from rolling down my face; they just rolled down my cheeks. There was nothing I could do. I had no control. I had just given my sweet little boy over to the hands of strangers. Although there was loneliness in that waiting room and fear of the unknown, I could literally feel the power of other people’s prayers that were being offered in Andrew’s behalf. I am so grateful for the prayers of others. Prayer is definitely a gift. Prayer can offer comfort.
We can receive guidance and wisdom from Heavenly Father through prayer. We can better understand our children and their needs. We can receive insight that will guide us in helping them. Prayer can be a source of comfort. Prayer strengthens families. Earnest, humble, continual prayer generates immeasurable amounts of blessings. It doesn’t matter where we are. It doesn’t matter if we are poor or rich, humble or arrogant, loved or forsaken, we can address our Heavenly Father in prayer. Prayer is an amazing gift from the Lord.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Two Wheels :)



I know, I am behind schedule . . . Sam is in first grade and I haven't taught her to ride a 2 wheeler yet. But, today I did it. She is on 2 wheels and she loves it. She said, mom, this is way more fun without the training wheels. I have to plug a really cool bike I bought for Andrew. It's called the Strider. It doesn't have any training wheels or pedals. It's supposed to teach kids how to balance better. After riding her bike around the circle a bunch of times, Sam got on Andrew's strider bike ONCE, figured out she could balance and asked to have her training wheels taken off. It was a great suggestion from Char and Andy- thanks guys :) For some reason the video won't post. Too bad, it's really cute.
p.s. Drew likes his bike too :)

This weekend has been beautifully sunny. This week has been full of wonderful things. I am grateful for my kids, my sweetheart, my family, my health, forgiveness, the ability to give and receive love, love love. Smooshy smooshy, cheesy, cheesy, but it's all true :)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

good things

I need to write down the good things I can remember from this week before I forget. Here's a brain spew of them. . .

Mom came for a short visit, I sang a solo in the Messiah for the first time, kids so happy about Granny's visit. Monday morning kids are still happy about Granny's visit, Drew and Sam insist on multiple group hugs. Read stories from the Friend for FHE. Signed Sam up for basketball. Got visit teaching done, made neighbor gifts, delivered most of them. Parent day at gymnastics, kids learning and enjoying their gym class. Car was finally repaired. Christmas cards are finished at the printer, addresses mostly gathered. Gifts starting to arrive in KY. Came up with a great gift for Mike, ordered it. Thanked Sam's teacher and delivered gift to her. Went on a couple of great bike rides, Drew rode in the trailer. Clean sheets on all the beds. Remembered garbage day. Mike scrubbed the entire master bathroom! Mike took the a/c out of the window and back to the shed! Sam and Em are both doing well in school. Went to lunch with Mike :) and Drew :) No one is sick. The laundry is almost finished. I was invited to a book club. The party store is selling everything for 75% off so I got all I needed to finish up Mike's family party. Everyone in Mike's family agreed to their assignments. Taught a harp lesson. Visited with some good friends. Tomorrow is Friday, it is crazier than ever. This has been a really busy week, not too much busier than most weeks, but it feels positive. Lots of things have gone wrong this week, but so much has turned out Great! I am grateful for all this GREAT stuff :)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

My Best Christmas Gift

The morning of Christmas has expectations. Excitement, joy, happiness, love, warmth, companionship, beauty, plentiful, surprise, generosity, and giving are all words that come to mind when I think of Christmas morning. On Christmas morning in 2004, there was a big part of my life missing. As my kids excitedly found what Santa had left them the night before, I watched for their reactions. The were very happy. Watching my children be happy made the ache in my heart pound a little harder. Knowing that their dad wasn't able to be there with them, to experience some of the "firsts" for our littlest, and enjoy the elation of our oldest. The phone rang just as the wrapping paper had all been ripped off the gifts, and the stockings had been scavenged. I laid on the floor with my kids watching them unwrap and eat Christmas candy for breakfast. On the other end of the phone was Mike. That Christmas morning was as complete as we could get it that year. We were all together, if we count being on speaker phone. We all laid on the floor with the phone in the middle of us and talked about what we had eaten for Christmas Eve. We talked about how the weather was in our different regions of the world. We talked about the people we spent Christmas Eve with, the packages we received, and the gifts we gave. During a deployment, holidays are difficult. The Christmas season has expectations. Sometimes those expectations are hard to meet. It is all in our attitude. The best Christmas gift I have received is when I answered that phone call from Mike. He was thousands of miles away, but we were still able to share Christmas morning together.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Respect

Today I was thinking about giving and earning respect. I have recently become friends with a few people who have really made me reflect on what kind of person I am. These people have made me feel like I am a good person, and that they respect me for who I am, the way I am. Do I treat people this way or have I become complacent about how I treat other people? Have I become careless about the attention I give my family and friends? Have I forgotten how to listen when someone is speaking to me? Am I a taker or a giver? I want to be a giver. I want people I come in contact with to feel like I respect them. I want to care about how a person feels and what they are experiencing. I feel like I have lost my way a little. I feel like my possible addiction to instant social interaction (facebook and texting), has effected my human interaction skills.

I went looking for some guidelines to help me answer these questions, and find some ways to modify my behavior so I can get into good habits again. I am a fan of Matt Townsend; he is a relationship counselor. I like his point of view. These are his 5 rules of respect. I have added some of my own thoughts about the rules.

1. Keep private things private. (Keep secrets in the proper places. Respect things that are private to your spouse. Keep your confidences- have the discipline to keep it to yourself.)
2. Honor the people who aren't present. (Talk to people with respect when you are with them, and not with them.)
3. It's more about your delivery than your intent or content.
4. Wow people with words of respect. (Such as, May I, pardon me, please, thank you, forgive me, excuse me, sorry, etc).
5. Pay attention while others speak. (If an important political person was talking to you, it would be easy to sit and listen and tune out the rest of the world. If your toddler is talking to you, it isn't as easy, but so important to show the child that you respect them, and what they care about. Check your text message when the person has finished speaking and your conversation is over).

These rules seem so obvious to me, but I have strayed from some of them. On my way back to keeping these rules, I will remember how good I feel when I am around my new friends, and strive treat others in a respectful and kind way.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Vote for Yourself!

The Lord is voting for me, and Lucifer is voting against me, but it is my vote that counts.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Ordinary Days

Today was the most ordinary day for me. It is more extraordinary to have a day like today. An ordinary day is far a few between. The kitchen appliances operated they way they should. I had ingredients for the things I made. There is gasoline in my car, but I didn't drive it anywhere. No one missed the bus to or from school. Home work got finished. Friends came to play. Emily and I had our daily harp practice. I didn't get any worrisome news about my family. All the shoes were where they go this morning. I was busy, but not overly busy. I am grateful for a quiet day like today. Today was one of those magic ordinary days.