Mostly My Journal

Ghost Couple

2009-10-29T07:33:00.000-07:00

This is a fun Halloween short that my sister and her husband made. It won 1st place in the BYU Halloween film festival. Click on the Ghost Couple link.

What do spirits eat?

2009-09-20T16:20:00.000-07:00

Emily: Spirits don't eat salt
Sam: Ya, spirits eat crackers
Em: Spirits don't eat crackers
Sam: Ya they do, that's why I took them downstairs, so they could have a snack

Mom: (thinking, WHAT? laughing out loud).

My Dad

2009-09-05T13:03:00.001-07:00

My dad passed away on Thursday morning at 4:25am. I love him so much. Here are a few photos of him.

My Dad
Kind
To anyone he meets
Patient
With anyone who needs more time
Understanding
When challenges try to take us
Listens
To the good and the bad
Generous
With his hope, faith, and charity
Loving
Unconditionally

My Dad
I love Him!

Cate's Wedding

2009-09-01T22:16:00.001-07:00

Cate got married at the end of July. I am pretty sure I already wrote about it, but I have to say it again. It was the most beautiful wedding I have ever seen. Char, Cate and my mom, and all the people they chose to help them did an amazing job. I had Char snap a photo of my people since we were all dressed up. I am glad the wedding craze of the summer is finished. I can't see it lighting up again, like it did this summer, for a long time. Phew!

Mills Fam Camping

2009-09-01T16:51:00.000-07:00

This is just a sample of how it is to camp with Mike and his siblings.

2009-08-30T11:52:00.000-07:00

How can a kid go from being the baby who prefers riding in the sling to anything else in the world to going to Kindergarten in just a matter of moments? I don't know how this has happened. The years have flown by. I am still the same person, struggling, playing tug of war with myself, trying to make it all come together and happen. My kids have progressed, and become little people, part of a community of friends and classmates. I am so happy they are learning and moving on and up in the world. I am proud of Sammy for being so excited about kindergarten. She is excited about homework, and meeting new friends, but disappointed about not being able to ride the bus. She is a cute little school girl. Drewby and I miss the girls during the day.

3rd Grade!

2009-08-20T07:48:00.000-07:00

It is crazy that Emily has left for school. She is in 3rd grade; still a little girl, but on the verge of big girl. Every veteran parent warns new parents that the time goes by so fast, but I couldn't have imagined how quickly the time really does go by. She was just a little soft, dark-curly haired, sweet baby a few months ago, right? I am excited for her to learn new things, and make new friends. I always love hearing about the things she is energized about. I am happy she gets to move on. There is something in my heart that aches a little though.

I remember the first day of the new school year having the feeling of crisp clean air, butterflies in my tummy, and overall excitement. Nothing has changed. Last night Emily woke up, almost too excited to go back to sleep. She packed her own lunch last night, in her new thermal lunch carrier, cleaned out her backpack and replaced her old pencils and erasers with a fresh clean pencil box, filled with her favorite erasers, pencils, ruler and scissors; new shoes, new uniform, and new haircut. What a great kid. I will definitely miss her during the day. But, I love all the new 3rd grade things she gets to learn!

Zumba

2009-08-19T22:25:00.000-07:00

Have you ever tried Zumba? If you haven't, you should. This is the most fun I have had working out ever, and I have seen the quickest and best results. I still have a long way to go, but this is the most fun I have had getting in shape. Bring it on. (I have gone from well over 200lbs, the photo on the top, to comfortably under it, the photo below. Still a bunch more to go. Wish me luck.)

Things I love part 2

2009-08-02T20:58:00.000-07:00

Last week was so full of too much. Too much that would make you cry your eyes out from sadness, and things that would make you cry your eyes out because they are so happy! I want to list the happy things so I won't forget the happiness.
- Wadsworth reunion in Panaca
including: swimming in the spring, hiking at Cathedral Gorge, horse back riding, fireworks by Nate, Aunt Helen O's 90th bday bash, Tyler got married, Gretchen has a baby (not in Panaca) . . .
- Zumba class (way too much fun, and a crazy workout!)
- Zack home from his mission!
- Cate getting her endowment
- Being able to spend time with family and friends that I don't usually get to see
- Cate got married!!
- Deborah Hansen-Conant concert at Deer Valley

I like harp photos

2009-07-28T12:51:00.000-07:00

My brother in law sent these to me. They are from his wedding. I like harp photos!

What you LOVE

2009-07-19T09:37:00.000-07:00

Doing what I love relieves stress and creates outlets for easing nervousness, as well as giving me opportunities to use my creative energy's. This makes absolute sense, but I forget it too often. When I go into my studio and just play music to my hearts content, I feel revived, and happy. When I swim in the hot summer, I feel at peace with my family. When I write down my thoughts and feelings, I feel relief and more put together. Something else I love to do is dance. I don't really get to do this anymore, except for the impromptu dance party with the kids in the family room every so often. Before the summer is over I am going to go salsa dancing with or without Mike! (Of course, I would chose to go with him, but will he come?)

Greater Good

2009-07-16T05:33:00.000-07:00

Working with someone for the greater good isn't as simple as it sounds. My opinion of the "greater good" might be entirely different from the other persons idea of the greater good. Sometimes we get lost in our efforts to express our true values. For the most part, I believe we surround ourselves with people we have commonalities with. I have found, in my on-going attempt to be a better communicator, that the people around me and I have varying opinions on what the greater good actually is. I try to be a Christian person, to be giving, forgiving, understanding, to live with the spirit of Christ is my life always. I try to live my life this way for the good of the people around me, for my family, and because this is how I want to be. (Always a work in progress). What am I striving for? What is my role here? Can a difference for good be catalyzed by one person? I don't just want to be dulcet, but to make a difference for good, for the greater good.

This has been a good day

2009-07-08T19:53:00.000-07:00

As far as days go, this would be a good one. I didn't sleep much last night because my son has anxiety issues that keep him awake and upset at night. (He's probably feeding off my emotional anxiety that I always have, but more now than usual). Despite being tired, it was a good day. Mike woke up with a positive outlook. He sent me lots of nice texts. He listened when I had something to say, without trying to fix it or change my opinion. He came home and ate dinner with me, played with our kids, and expressed how he was excited to go out on Saturday together. This is just normal stuff to a lot of people, but this stuff made my day a very good day. Thanks to Mike for starting the day off with a positive outlook. It sure made a big difference. Besides having fond feeling toward Mike today, I went swimming with the kids, and some great friends, chores got done, there isn't any laundry to fold, and I am about to start another good book. This is a good day wouldn't you say?

soon the numbers will be in order

2009-07-08T11:03:00.000-07:00

at 12:34:56, 07/08/09, the date will be 123456789. Why do I think that is cool?

07/08/09

2009-07-07T23:24:00.000-07:00

Today hasn't really started yet, but it has a fun number, 070809. Choices are funny in that you can't make choices for anyone but yourself. Who thought that would be a good idea? Oh ya, God- and it turns out I agreed with it. So, I agreed, shall we move on?

Faded Memories

2009-07-01T09:38:00.001-07:00

Not many of my memories include sad memories. Memories I have from childhood are filled with happy things. I know bad and sad things happened, fortunately, those feelings are forgotten over time. For instance, I broke my femur when I was just 4 years old. I remember what I was doing when it happened, who carried me home, having a cast, and crutches, begging to be carried everywhere, but I don't remember getting the x ray, the bone setting, the doctor, or anything having to do with the treatment and recovery of the bone. I was jumping on an in ground trampoline with my cousin who is close to my age, his older sister by 8 years, and my oldest brother by 8 years. When I was getting off the trampoline, I got bounced high and landed one foot on the ground and one foot under the ground in between the springs. My bone cracked. I don't remember the pain associated with the broken bone. I just remember my brother whisking me away to our home. He scooped me up in his big arms, carried me down the hill to our home, and passed me carefully off to my parents. I remember feeling so safe when he picked me up and carried me home, even though the pain must have been terrible. Another example is of mothers. Mothers continue to bare children even though our bodies never are the same afterward, the pain and burning that comes with childbirth is really quite alarming, and the effects mentally and emotionally during pregnancy are so terrible for me. All the effects of being pregnant and birthing, terrible as they may be, haven't kept women or me, from continuing to bare children. All this seems strange to me, but it gives me hope. Hope that we are able to either accept the physical and emotional pains of life, or we are blessed with the ability to forget how bad the pain hurts- emotionally or physically. I hope I will be able to remember just enough of the pain to not repeat past wrongs, and to strive to make the lives of those around me better.

Lehi Round Up Days

2009-06-29T12:19:00.001-07:00

The kids and I always have a fun time at Lehi Round Up Days. A highlight is always the fifty cent face painting. The girls get to earn quarters to spend at the fair. It's a lot of fun. (and I love mobile uploads!)

2009-06-28T09:56:00.001-07:00

Hot date with Mike. We went to the arts festival. There were some really great bands. Neil Diamond cover band, some guy playing a huge pipe, jazz, drummers and a Brazilian dance(?) group, and my favorite was a band called Traveler. A mix between Celtic, Rock, and mid-Eastern belly dancing. They were great performers, it was a party!

Sunshine

2009-06-22T13:17:00.000-07:00

Today the sun is out and the sky is blue. Little white fluffy clouds are scattered about, and the mountains are purple and green. What a beautiful day.

Since the weather has been so rainy, most of my plants are in shock. I think it's funny that they have gotten too much water. All my plants are intended for a dry climate and some of them have turned a little brown. Not dried up brown, but too moist brown. This week they should perk up a bit with the warmer, dryer weather.

I have been talking to Mike about going to visit my Auntie Cathi in Washington state. While there, I want to take my kids to the Hoh rain forest. I went there when I was a teenager, it was pretty amazing. I have been in 2 different rain forests. One in South America and one in North America. They are so different from each other. In South America there were bugs and bugs and more bugs. Bugs that would eat the skin on your legs before you even knew they were there. Sticky bugs that would fly into your hair, then you would have to cut them out before they built a bug nest in your braids. Bugs that glowed, slimy ones, bright ones. Florescent toads (or maybe they were frogs), mosquitoes,etc. If I had been looking at that rain forest on film it would have been much more enjoyable. The Hoh rain forest was so different. Tons of vegetation in every nook and cranny imaginable, but there weren't any disgusting, slimy, hot, humid, gamy, bugs that drove you to your wits end. Needless to say, I am absolutely fine never visiting a hot, humid rain forest again. I hope they will always be there, but I never want to be in one again. The cooler rain forest would be great though! Hopefully we will make it up there this summer. I know it would be a great vacation for the kids, and I know I would love it too.

here we go, this is more like it

2009-06-28T10:12:00.000-07:00

Mobile uploads

2009-06-28T10:05:00.000-07:00

I am trying to get photos to load to this page from my phone. There was supposed to be a photo attached to the "hot date" comment. I wish I could get this to work. It would be so great! I'll keep working on it. It shouldn't be hard, it just isn't working right. Hopefully sooon!

Safe

2009-06-24T13:52:00.000-07:00

There is something about the emotion of safety. It is beyond a state of being, more than an adjective, it is a necessary fundamental of life. So many of us, at some point in our lives experience life without the fundamental element of safety. When I had someone close to me pass away, I felt unsafe. A broken heart can make you feel unsafe. Living conditions, emotional trauma, and our fears can make us feel unsafe. When Mike was in Iraq I felt unsafe. I was tied to him emotionally as much as I could be from thousands of miles away, sometimes when we were on the phone together the alarms would start blaring and he would have to go take cover. Many times, I wouldn't hear from him for days after that. Loved ones left behind in wartime know that no news is good news. In any case, I felt unsafe during those many many months. Most people don't throw themselves into an unsafe environment just for fun, usually people find themselves there not knowing how they got there, and not having the means to fix it. So many people have taken refuge from tyranny in this country, and this state. They have come here to protect their children and themselves from further persecution. Today, I have felt a huge amount of gratitude for safety. It is something I overlook on a day to day basis, and that is because I have been able to live and grow in a place where safety is abundant. I am grateful for safety.

(side note, I know we need to protect ourselves and our children from predatory people and things)

Mike Mills

2009-06-24T07:15:00.001-07:00

If you knew us when we went to SUU, chances are you also knew a guy named Josh Jones. He had this way of saying peoples names who only had 2 syllables. Like a mom would say "it's dinner time" with a little up and down intonation, and some < > crescendo and decrescendo in there. He was always saying Mike Mills- he made it sound like there are 3 syllables instead of two. In any case, this entry isn't about Josh Jones (with 3 syllables), it is about Mike Mills (with 3 syllables).

Mike has always had a passion about him that is attractive. He is creative, I wish I had a picture of the project he made for an art class he took- he turned some chunks of wood into a vase with hardware flowers. It was really creative and I was impressed. I don't remember what he called it, but it was a clever name. Mike can make you feel important, and one of a kind. He is a very good story teller, with voice impressions and actions to go with it, he can make a melodramatic situation in to a comedic hilarity. Mike has really strong arms, I have never seem him loose in an arm wrestle. Mike is a good dad, he is always happy to engage in a game with his kids. These are a few things I love about Mike.

Bridesmaid dresses

2009-06-23T16:49:00.001-07:00

We have to get dresses. Blah! Trying to fit all our different body types, styles, sizes, and color tone is annoying. It will be fun once it is finished. I thought these were some great bridesmaid dress choices. What do you think? Classic or just plain strange?

My Dad

2009-06-21T09:29:00.000-07:00

Kind
To anyone he meets
Patient
With anyone who needs more time
Understanding
When challenges try to take us
Listens
To the good and the bad
Generous
With his hope, faith, and charity
Loving
Unconditionally

My Dad
I love Him!